I'll be leaving for the University of Bristol in less than a month. Everything is seriously changing and I'm so scared. I have no idea what to expect. I constantly think that no one's going to like me or I'm not going to like them. I worry that I'm going to have a terrible time. The only thing keeping me going is the thought that I'm not alone. Everyone else in my boat is scared and to know that is very reassuring.
I'm going to be doing English which strives on the thoughts and feelings of all different people and cultures, so when you discover a book/song/film that talks about everything you're going through, it feels good. I like that I'll be doing a subject that requires empathy rather than, how can I say, 'selfishness'? I just feel that society claims to encourage people to do what they want, but people fall at the first hurdle and do things that are easy to get a job. People miss out on what they truly love and are interested in, and in turn, they make fun of those people that are doing something they love.
Don't get me wrong, I still freak about the future and worry about getting a job. (After having two parents as teachers I really don't want to be one). But we've also got into a trap that says science is the only way to get good jobs...sometimes I think it's true. Only because, it's not what you know, it's who you know. It's all about connections, especially in the arts. I have no connections, but the ever changing world of technology has technically helped me in some way. If this was 100 years ago, I'm sure I wouldn't be going to University, let alone writing my own blog that people actually read! I hope this will help in some way for my future, 'til now, I've got to focus on what's happening now rather than worrying about the future.
Here are a few songs that I listen to when I'm in need of some encouragement. I hope you enjoy them but also, send me some of your favourite songs that really help when you're feeling down.
Don't Give Up - Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush
I Don't Blame You - Cat Power
Laura - Bat For Lashes
Unfucktheworld - Angel Olsen
God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
Here, There and Everywhere - The Beatles
The Blues are Still Blue - Belle and Sebastian
Don't Think Twice, It's Alright - Bob Dylan
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths
Where do the children play? - Cat Stevens
Dreams - Fleetwood Mac
Moments of Pleasure - Kate Bush
Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole - Martha Wainwright
(Must end on the ultimate 'fuck you' song)